Sunday, July 21, 2013

Wild Game Hunters

It all started with piles of raccoon poop under the blue spruce in a corner of our garden where we like to survey our estate from comfy Adirondack chairs. The black piles, filled with cherry pits from the neighbors trees, created a less than pleasant atmosphere.

What does one do when faced with a problem? Consult Google of course. According to this reliable source, the neighborhood raccoons have established a latrine in the corner of our property. Our job is to disrupt their routine. Armed with suggested solutions, Gary first placed rags soaked in ammonia on top of black plastic garbage bags. The local bandit eyed creatures just did their business in an area outside the ammonia zone.

The next idea lasted only one night. Flashlights were aimed in different directions to unsettle critters looking for the latrine. Don't believe the Energizer Bunny ads. The new batteries didn't survive one night.

Next solution, a shop light dangled from a tree limb. Highly successful for a week until the vermin became accustomed to a night light in their bathroom.

About this time Gary hears our neighbor over the fence asking what he is up to with the light. She is sympathetic. Her challenge is removing a nest of yellow jackets that have taken up residence in her herb garden. She too has consulted Google for help without much success.

"What if there were spikes on the ground?" I said to Gary as we sipped cocktails one evening from a safe distance. A few minutes of brainstorming resulted in a trip to the hardware store for carpet tack strips. Another unsuccessful solution.

"Not enough tack strips," Gary decided. After another visit to the hardware store the ground is now covered with tack strips and dishes of ammonia (never hurts to wear a belt and suspenders). Tomorrow morning will reveal the outcome.

Meanwhile our neighbor has chilled the yellow jacket nest with ice. We aren't sure what her next step will be.

This is the truth. I swear on a pile of raccoon poop.

Gary's next option is aluminum pie pans suspended from tree branches. I'll keep you posted.


  1. You can't buy a solution, but you can make one, and being as creative as you are, I know you can handle this Arduino based couch guardian and modify it to scare raccoons.

    1. This is too funny. I'll tell Gary and see what he can come up with.